How Am I Doing?
It was 8 weeks ago that we delivered our son, Jeremiah, prematurely. He died in my womb at about 16 weeks gestation and I gave birth to him at 19 weeks. Please click on "Jeremiah" on the side bar for more details of his sweet story.
So, how am I doing?
In all honesty, I miss my little man.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I desire to feel his little feet and elbows kicking in my womb. However, I am in a peaceful place with the Lord. He truly is my comfort and the healer of my very broken heart. And for that, I am so thankful. "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4 The loss of Jeremiah is real and significant. There are tears. They will come and go. I know that and I expect that.
When I found out I was pregnant, there was great excitement and with that, much anticipation of joy in raising this little blessing. My heart loved and embraced this new little life. And now those things have suddenly been quenched and my dreams with Jeremiah unfulfilled.
My broken heart has helped me (in a much deeper way) to discover Gods intimate love and infinite mercy. His gentleness and His graciousness have come over me like none other. He is my Redeemer, my Savior, my Abba (daddy)!
These past weeks have taken me to a place of deep prayer and worship with the Lord. It seems as if I am fasting but in a different way, when my thoughts are taken to Jeremiah (which is often throughout the day), I am quickly taken to the feet of Jesus. I just pray like a mad woman! I love the fellowship that I am experiencing with God.
I love to talk about him. I still shed tears as I share our story. It has been an amazing journey. Thanks for your continued love through all of this.
Blessings to you,
ashley
Jeremiah's tiny little hand resting on my finger.
2 comments:
Still holding up your arms in prayer here in East Tennessee.
grace and peace,
julie
Ashley, I just want you to know that I think about you everyday and pray each day that it is a good day for you! I know how hard this is. When I miscarried the second time I was such a mess. They had me stay laying down between the first blood test and the next one which was 72 hours. All I could do was sit and think and that was hard. Well, after I went back to the Doctor and he confirmed my worst fear that I had indeed miscarried. Kevin took me to my parents and I sat down with my dad and he told me that God knew something I didn't and that there was a reason that it had happened. Some people might not have gotten anything from my dads words but I did. I felt such a peace about it! And, now God has given two gifts that I am sure I didn't deserve. And oh how I am blessed! So, I know how hard it is to get through something like this but just know that I am thinking about you and love you very much! After I went through this I received a gift from a friend and the message was Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding Proverbs 3:5
It really helped me and I hope it helps you!!
Love, Stacy
Post a Comment